Set me free N' set that bullet free
Every thought of you just relapses bare in me
I set my self free but keep coming back to me
Back to the thoughts of once we had you see
Cant forget how you once looked at me
Tears in my eye, rolling down on me
Once I felt like a ghost
Then you came along
Life was potent when you were around
Now all barbwires have me surround
Poem by Blogger
I try my hardest not to go on line or reply to any mail, and it worked I was abstained from internet yesterday, till
I started watching the movie "International" with Clive Owen as main star, I couldn’t help it notice how much he looks like him with big nose and big smile, I slipped after his thoughts came to my head, it was around early 12 am hours when I broke my one day sobriety of internet and replied to couple of adds, and masturbated to some of the explicit descriptions of the ads, even though I wasn’t going to go through with them, I just couldn’t control the factor of seeking attention with my addiction.
I am really beat up over thoughts and past keep chasing me in my head but can’t move forward if I don’t write them out of my head one by one. I feel that this method works for me as some of the things I have blogged about don’t bother me anymore, I feel like I’m writing them off or telling them to my trusty sponsor then I can move forward when I stop re-living the past.
I hope you can take this as a pointer and incorporate a diary or a sponsor into your addiction method to get well sooner.
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