Internet Addiction

This virtual world of Internet is addictive, and can’t seem to put a lid on it, and can’t seem to put it down.

With its anonymity and anonymous sense of hiding behind a monitor and just getting my gratification without the need to meet someone for physical activity is a bonus at this stage as if I had to act out it would be a slippery slope back to where I was last year.

In other aspects I feel like a relapse is in order as only gratification through the Internet will only last so far and so long.

I had a meeting with my therapist yesterday and I talked extensively about how I feel terrible about my health and over the course of this past month some signs tell me I’m not the same person from years before, like I can’t finish a 10km run without walking a bit of it, or by aches for days after my runs as recovery is taking longer.
All this stress adding to my want and need of gratification to tell me I am still okay and normal.

I am sorry I am doing this but I can’t deal with my health in any way or form, as it’s here to stay and nothing can change or alter that for now. I get upset and angry over it at times but have managed to deal with the anger by moving forward in life and looking at my current achievements than my past crisis.

I also mentioned about the fact I haven’t gone to SLAA classes following the plan of coming out to the group, it scared me so much to come out to a group that I personally choose not to go there. The Dr. mentioned that it’s all in my head and I should attend and have a longer goal of coming out than your immediate following class.

The Dr. also recommended two things, either I continue the road of recovery or don’t, and re assured me to take it one day at a time and you’ll be back to where I was prior to Internet broken barriers.