When he comes to me, I am ready.
I'll wash his feet with my hair if he needs.
Forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain.
Even after three times he betrays me.
I'll bring him down, a king with no crown.
Judas look what have you done
My heart bleeds and you think it's fun?
Lyrics from Judas by Lady Gaga
I’ve read these lyrics which are to be released later on the year and found them so powerful and meaningful, perhaps not everyone will get it, but Judas in biblical is one of the 12 disciples who for 30 pieces of silver delivered Jesus into the hand of the authorities to be nailed into the cross.
Update
I’ve don’t a lot in the past month in order to forget the past and move on, but still find my ways in old memories and entangled by them, I’ve joined back at the gym and every time I go to wear my dry fit shirts I remember he once wore the red one and can’t bring myself to put in on.
I’ve joined a few gay dating sites and after being messaged by the EX and I’ve ignored his messages though out this, but again it was hard to realize how freely he is looking and it perturbed me for a few days and I was upset about it.
This past month I’ve fully come out to my family to gain a support and their understanding of me being gay no more hiding and no more being in closet at least at home.
Over all it was an ok month with celebration of the spring and seeing old family and relatives rejuvenated the roots and since of belonging.
I’ve been asked for more painting from the art gallery which I’m in the midst of putting them together and updating the website with, its empowering to see other appreciate my art and brings a big self worth to me with their kind words and support.
Refresh your thought and actions and make sure what you do is best in line with your own interest and your own well being, as others are merely there as decoration and if you feel good they will only extend that more and if you feel terrible and down they will only make it that much worse.
Bring yourself to account each day,
And if you don’t cast a shadow you’re not standing in the light of someone who adorns you.
