Easy as you come
Easily you’re gone
You live so numbingly
I am in my sobriety
Here I am as jumped in front of a train
But you cheer the train on to me
I’ve said I love you so much that it bleeds
You said put the blade to your veins it bleeds faster n fleen
I’ve seen myself go tough the pain with pills
But all I see is you drifting farther entails
You cared less for me as I care more for you
You are priceless to me and I’m only worthless to you
My head on these train tracks, sounds like trom trom
Like your heart beat as my head once on your chest heard drom drom
How it feels like happiness lost in this melody
As I don’t see the train just as I close my eyes in parody
Inspired Poem
By blogger
I have been very focused on my studies for the past month and I’m going to my exam with high 90 percentile average.
January been cold month, I started my natural therapy for my illness and during the therapy its hard and painful, and very emotionally and physically draining, leaving the place tired and exhausted sitting in the chair for 1 to 2 hrs, sometimes wish there was someone there with me for support, but I guess it’s part of walking alone.
I came across a great line this month, WE ARE WALKING WOUNDED as a person who feels so much pain from day to day basis it was essence of my soul, that I feel wounded and but I’m still trying to move forward, like a butterfly that twirls around the candle in adoration knowing it’s too hot but the butter fly gets closer and closer, even after losing its tentacles it should leave, but will fly close and closer till joins with its love of flame and becomes one.
At times I feel like the butterfly and the candle that I keep going back to the Ex, I had communications with him this past month and it was hard keeping the distance knowing he was sick and ill, I asked how he was and gave him pointers to take care of himself and I realized though all the text of past week he didn’t ask me once, except on my last one which was going to be my last one as I felt awkward and unwanted as he never asked how I was doing.
though the conversation he said something that after my therapy session it came out that he was letting me down gently, he said that maybe in future one day well be together, it was as first hard to hear and live for a hope of tomorrow, as it feels being unwanted today, but I realize that he was letting me down slowly and perhaps realized how much I have been hurt and wanted to give me a closure, and though talking with him I realized that I still haven’t forgiven him fully, I did partially to make him feel better with what he was going through but not fully.
Recently I came across a beautiful girl whose story touched my heart, she is gorgeous orthodontist, very young and highly achieved at her age, gorgeous smile and very beautiful figure which could get any guy she wants, very confident at first and appealing, then I started to open up and so did she, and by the end of the conversation she said, she had dated a man for 3 weeks and known him for two months and she’s been in therapy for 9 months now ever since, I hugged her and I said I know how you feel and it’s hard to move forward and told her about my progress in SLAA and writing out my feeling in form of a blog, and you get much lighter doing so. She is going to give it a try and see if it works for her.
Amazing that WE ARE WALKING WOUNDED is true and to what extend we show our true in side and how much of it is just a mask and how we deal with emotional crisis in order not to make ourselves look vulnerable and captured by emotional anorexia.
Keep liberating yourself from shackles and emotional anorexia, express your feeling instead of swiftly dismissing it or doubting other peoples quality from what you’ve observed in the past, make a continues effort to love without expectations, live your life with less negative and start incorporating more good energy as more good will come your way.
You’re worth it.
