Withdrawal

I feel as a whale lost at sea
Whale hunters coming right at me

A whale is hunted when comes up for air
Each breath it will take could be a tale

Harpoons loaded and ready for me to surface
How long can i stay under this surface


withdrawal is the pain of not having access to your substance of abuse, (from any type of addiction-- drug, alcohol, sex or gambling, etc.) some go through the withdrawal phase and relapse as pressure mounts, others never see the withdrawal and constantly act out with every urge, and some will go through the withdrawal bearing the pain and agony of withdrawal as they want change in their lives and the old life has become unmanageable and their addiction is an obstacle in their life.

SLAA step one
We admitted we were powerless over sex and love addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.


the withdrawal signs that I went through are, immensely painful even to this day, some days I cry driving all the way to work, with glasses on as I don’t want anyone to see me with red eyes, I talk allot with the therapist now than ever before, pain from small relationships from the past emerge as my addict side wants to find some happy moment to trigger me to act out, very depressing actually and sad most of the time. I deal with sadness by going to the SLAA classes, creating a comfort zone with is taught full, respectable. Having family around really help, specially my mom, as she disapproves my sexual preference but she still loves me and wants the best for me.

I recall last year this time, and with my relapse I was seeing somebody else and having some other side kicks on the side it only lasted a few months and I went through another withdrawal for few weeks and it was constantly up and down, I felt like a balloon inflating and deflating constantly seeking attention, that balloon was finally popped Nov 16 through intervention, I didn’t see it as intervention first, but I opened up and did invite him in to my life to see the email accounts and the phone contacts, I relapsed for another month after this day and got my moment of superiority Dec 27th.

To any addict withdrawal is as being thrown in a pool and your addiction is oxygen, you will freak out at first and come up for air often but you finally realize that if you stay submerged and don’t panic you find your way faster.

So stay calm, stay in your program and get a sponsor to talk to.

i have been sex free for 2 months and almost 2 weeks, and in this time i have not contacted any one from the past for sex or creating new sexual liaison, i keep slipping on porn, wanted ads and masturbation.

"Keep coming back"

PS thank you for comments
It feels comforting that someone is reading this again