Saturday, March 27, 2010

3rd Month of Sobriety



Walking this fine line, with memories
A snap shot of what could have been

Pushes me to stick to the lines drawn
Bottom lines and classes with porn

Could it be alcoholism or substance?
So you could see it as tangible

Perhaps you won’t believe such illness exists
As it can creep on any one even the saint

And no one can tell a difference at first
But sex and love should be a "ISM"


Dear Blog
I’ve been sober for 3rd month now, and it feels like walking a sober test line, and possibility of failing this test could happen.

I haven’t filled my prescription yet but will do on Monday, as for this weekend I will be monitoring my actions, and will go to the SLAA class on Sunday.

So far today I’ve masturbated twice so far, watching porn, and wondering about my Ex and not being able to chase him out of my mind. I haven’t gone through adds a lot these days, knowing that I can’t reply to any one any longer it’s been a huge turn off from perusing that activity of gratification.

Yesterday there was dinner for the youth in my religious community and followed by dance for the spring celebration, which I would readily attend these types of venues usually seeking free time to act out in the past or be online cruising while my siblings went to these types of functions.

As I said earlier I’m sober on my main bottom line of not having sex or contacting any one from past or creating new contact for future liaisons for 3 months now. I am still training for my first run and weather is not co-operating these days.

“Keep coming back”

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