Monday, March 22, 2010

Finding a New Normal




My new normal has become knowing the fact I can’t have sex with any one, and can’t reply to any ads and contacts from the past, or create new contacts for present or future liaisons.

It was constant reminder when I started my sobriety, but now it’s as subconscious as autopilot, I take inventory of some of my actions like looking around while in public at handsome faces or wondering if any ones eye is crossing with mine.
After noticing my actions I current them by stopping at the time and focusing what I was doing like shopping or getting to my destination.

The new normal is not easy to achieve, it’s been almost 3 months of work in abstinence and sobriety work on my main bottom line, by resisting and not having sex with any one, like a pit-bull in chains that wants to bite any ones limb off I felt I was destroying every one’s life and my own, I got a psychiatry worked out to resist and in time better things will happen for me, as a thicker chain to place on this pit-bull so it won’t leave the backyard.

The new normal won’t be the same for you, it might come in different forms and acts, some might see it sooner than later, others might be single and resisting their addiction and some with a loved one and resisting to not act out of the relationship.

Find your new Normal and Stick to your program and bottom lines.

On my bottom line I am still sober with my main bottom line, it’s been 2 months and 3 weeks now, still masturbate sometimes obsessively 3 time a day like yesterday, but other times I have no desire to even masturbate or look at any porn or ads. As I know I can’t reply or make any contact.

As much as it feels like being in straight jacket, I prefer this than hurting some ones feeling and destroying myself.


"Keep coming back"

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