Clounds of You, Angel

Piercing light of your is present
I feel and draw from you

Each ray of sun piercing through my dark night
I feel the warmth and your embrace

Like a magnet pulled to steel
Unto a butterfly around a flame

I feel you around, need you and want you
That’s both manifest and my mystery of you

Poem by: blogger


it was a bit of a stress full day being off work and having the whole day at home, also it didn’t help having my brother home, (we don’t get a long that well and there has been incidents in the past) it stress full having him around as everyone is walking on egg shells and you really don’t want to get on his bad side over a small thing.

Since the stress was too much at home, I went for a 12km run today, to get my head cleared up, and get ready for the 10Mile run coming up in July, I feel ready and will train a bit more extensively and keep at this pace as the half marathon is coming next.

My Birthday is coming up in few days, but I will be at the wedding in Washington, I couldn’t help it but I thought about his birthday which is few days after mine, (who is he with and is he smiling ) when I think about him I get a lump in my throat and as much as I miss him so much I don’t want to see him hurt again by me and through my addiction, or have him stress over my thoughts and next action during sobriety if I were to go back.

I want to be honest on my blog, that I was checking out Mass’s Facebook account for the past week as I couldn’t resist, and wanted to see his new pictures, and today he increased his security, and I am locked out once more, miles away from him.

I am still sober on my main bottom line and it’s been couple of weeks that I’m sober on internet and other contact barriers, but still haven’t contacted any one from the past for months, and as I blogged before I like this to continue and fully find value in myself and find my own self worth so I don’t have to seek it through sex and love, and integrate healthy love and sex back into my life in future.