I got a text message from him yesterday that said "Have a good night", I was in my evening classes when I got this, I resisted by not responding as yesterday in therapy, I can only give him space and by me conversing it will make matters worse.
Based on the therapist, I am not ready and he is not ready for a relationship as he has some issues to sort through and I have my one year of sobriety to finish first.
it’s hard to digest all of this now, but I know it’s for the best interest for both of us to remain a part for now, as he is drug of my choice and for him to be looking for me online is another sign that its reciprocal and one drives the others sexual urge and in my case the addiction.
it hurt when he said "I cared" when I said "I love him", shows that he really didn’t fall in love, he was just afraid to be alone and would do anything to be in a relationship, versus being alone.
I am still sober on my main bottom line of not having sex with any one, and i have contact barrier of two days after talking to him 2 days a go on my drive home.
I have my exam coming up today and i feel, I am stressed because of the past week event to concentrate and study for it.
As a words or recommendation when feeling loneliness, surround your self with family and friends and not sexual partners and unhealthy life styles choices. Go back to your roots, and find what made you once happy before sex was a big part of your life or that relationship was big part of your heart, before going back to dating scene.
I am not young enough to know everything.
-Oscar Wilde
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