While in D.C.

Dear blog
It’s been a long time since my last posting,
It was a long drive there and back, and on contrary to what I had posted, it was a pleasant drive with fewer conflicts in the car, and somewhat productive and pleasant, we talked and chatted about when we were little and where our parent grew up.
It was nice to hear those stories again and created a fuzzy feeling of comfort about my childhood and sense of dignity to myself.

While in Washington and Maryland, we were mostly out shopping and at the wedding dinner, wedding ceremony and celebration, following July 4th supper and fireworks, and in the middle we visited other family member’s home in the mornings before dinners and suppers.

I knew that it would be yelling and screaming in the car, over directions, as we drove to state of Maine years ago, it was stress full and constant talks over who took the wrong road and we should go back, and the it wasn't so pleasant, so based on that I bought a GPS unit to save the stress and calamities that surrounds long trips like this. I am glad I did as it both came in handy while visiting other relatives and for obvious reason that stress for me is a huge negative tool to have as I lose booth temper and confidence, which is a slippery slope for me while holding minute sobriety of 6 months.

On the trip I thought about a lot of things, and I had both flash backs of the past and constant thoughts of what to do for the next 6 months to improve my sobriety, I thought of removing any one I had relations with in the past that wasn't early a relations as they were unavailable and to this date unsupported from my life. Both in gay life and divided straight life; family and friends. I started removing some names that had done things that were wrong to me from my facebook and phone, I purchased a new Laptop, and I was very specific in what I wanted, no WEBCAM and very basic for email, drawings and work related stuff.

I thought about Mass while in DC also, (my Ex) while walking the tourist sites on Capital Hill or listening to music in the car, or dressed up at the wedding, I couldn't help it but I kept relapsing over and over the same thought pattern and is unhealthy at points and others made me feel comforted and accompanied.

I mentioned I tried to get a better job, but no luck on interviews and job front, so next step was to get my certification, but still no better paying job offers, and final decision was to go back to school, I have enrolled to go back to school in fall or winter, for Masters program, and currently they require for some course upgrades, and for the next few months I will be going from work directly to class then going home, it will be a bit out of my comfort zone to do this but I will get into the routine of it, and so far the class is easy and very simple math and physics. Also I am forced to miss the SLAA classes on Tuesdays due to the upgrade classes but I will be attempting to go to Sunday classes for sure.

We arrive early in the AM hours today and I slept in a little before going to work. I was packed to the gills with work and was busy with correcting mistakes of being away for 5 days. I wanted to blog from work but just couldn't get to it in time; I am keeping my Internet to a minimum since the trip started since I wasn't available to private Internet and computer.