My Weekend

I had a generally good weekend, on Saturday i slept in till 10 and had my regular house cleaning and bit of grocery shopping and worked out with the DVD and stayed home to relax and made food with my sibling while others where out.

Today i had my regular morning routines of waking up on weekend hours and watching a bit of TV, i masturbated watching porn before going to the SLAA class, as i was going to be downtown i didn't want to act out under temptation.

the class went relatively well i did check in my trip to Europe and the convention coming up and the fact that i was debating if i act out in Chicago it wouldn't count and my addiction side was lobbying for that option. and i checked it in knowing when i talk about it in the group it usually doesn't happen because the power of being cleansed of that dark shadow casts over it and shines some light on it. id did feel relived to talk about it and dispelled the thought from my head for now.

after the class i usually go for a small walk of some sort and i wanted to visit my friend who owns a cafe in the village, as much as i didn't want to go as i feared seeing my Ex or some one that might trigger me, also i wanted to test my level of chastity both in action and in eyes.

i started walking and soon after i noticed a group of people sitting at a ice cream parlor balcony, and just randomly rating peoples on looks and giving out numbers to people who pass by, (i wasn't looking at them and tried to avoid them) but some how i was rated a number, while passing by. i heard it and i glanced over for a second, but they like school girls they just giggled, i was totally discussed by their actions and wanted to say something, and to ridicule them in public, as my sex addiction side wanted to be approved and accepted every where it go and my other sober side didn't want to see any approval public acceptance.

i just walked to the cafe shop and said my hi and next thing i know i am being checked out there too, things got really uncomfortable and i said my farewells after 10 minutes and left and drove home.

i guess it was a good test that i walked down and saw what i was capable to handle and not, even though i defended my self at the cafe, but now that i think about it i had the option of not going to the "village" and i chose to go.

therefor no more mistake of going to the village or places that will be filled with sexual urges and negative vibes.

"Keep coming back"