There are two types of anger, one latent and other instantly, and the lasting factors could be long or short, depending factor of the anger and how much it affected the person.
For me during these past 3 months I have monitored my levels especially when I get upset through finding myself lonely and tired from the course of my sobriety.
I now have high cholesterol level, at my age? Even with my daily trainings and runs, yes. It all source from my deep anger and upsetting relationship that to this day gets to me, he is constantly on my mind and wish I could turn him off.
Sometimes I want him back so bad, others I resent him terribly, all depends what passes through my mind and what comes up in my thought. My physician has ordered me to slow down and reduce the stress, be happy during course of anger and when upset cheer myself up.
I try to do that but, doesn’t work, heart want what the heart wants, and I can’t seem to turn this coal into diamonds yet, and pressure mounting as time is elapsing and soon will be 5 months that he is gone and as this gap is getting wider I am getting scared that I will never see him again.
I didn’t go to my yesterday class as I was doing my DVD exercise and I was into the moment that by the time it finished I was too tired to move. I will go this Sunday to make up for the Tuesday class I missed.
I am still sober on my main bottom line of not having sex with any one and not creating contact or contacting any one from the past, also I have managed to stay away from the ads for the past few days, but have masturbated to porn, lately I am focusing on the trip and finding a flat to rent and what to do while there with the family.
"Keep coming back"
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