Loose Ends

Floating a way hot air balloon
With the ends floating in the air

Not having anything to tie myself to
A life line of a chute to bring me down

Where is the life, the love the dove
The one that, sought, talked, then walked

I feel as a mist, dense, white the cold
Killing me with your silence, distance, then you watch


Loose ends in an addicts life, refers to fact that they don’t find themselves desirable to be in love or limit themselves in relationships thinking they don’t deserve what they are getting themselves involved in.

Or

their addiction side makes the person unavailable, and to make the truth eminent and for the addiction to be able to go undetected for a long time before things change, as I have referred to it in the past, it feels like harboring a fugitive, while the person who is an addicts knows but feels powerless to change.

In respect to loose ends, my only suggestion is to go under a help or SLAA group and do attend your classes for a long period of time 6 constant weeks recommended before making decision about the class or your bottom lines.
Also with sobriety the addiction fades and you can see in what areas the addiction hindered the addict’s growth both emotionally, spiritually and in other aspects.

It’s been 3 months past one week now, and today I had a lot of sexual urges, that I masturbated at work, took me a while but had to do it, I was walking around work trying to hide it and was getting aggravated with peoples questions that seems redundant to me, and taking up my time from other activities like reading through ads which I would usually had been doing.

I don’t have urge to reply to any and with the new normal I know there is no point of checking out ads as I can’t reply to them or to create future contacts.

I have a trip coming up in two weeks and there are some temptations around it, luckily, I have my family on this trip, so I wouldn’t be alone and act out under temptation or being alone, I just wanted to check that in and be true with myself, as when I hide these thoughts, its most likely it will prevail over me, and twist my arm to go with some sort of sexual intrigue.

"Keep coming back"