i have managed to stay sober through this adverse time of abasement and banishment with sense of loneliness and fatigue from exercising to be sober and staying away from sex.
to be honest i haven't filled my prescription still and yesterday Friday, when i came home i got many responded to ads that i had replied to, and most wanted to meet, and Finlay i masturbated to some one virtually and i left the computer knowing if i stayed on, i would be seduced into acting out physically.
i am still upset about breaking my barrier of contacting new people for sex or liaison and i cant seem to close that portal that has opened up. perhaps what i am feeling is the sense of validation and approval which i haven't had in almost 5 months.
i helped sibling with their birthday party coming up tomorrow and i wouldn't be able to go to the SLAA class as much as i want to due to the birthday party.
i have not much to say besides that i haven't acted out on my main bottom line of not having sex with any one, and to protect that i will after posting this go and fill my prescription for mood depressant.
i hope who ever is reading this and is a sex addict can learn from my lessons and mistakes. please pray for the ones who are suffering.
I will say a prayer for you tonight and keep coming back, you are not alone, but you know that.
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