A Week in summary

I am feeling a lot of withdrawal over this past week, some issues over the two weeks’ notice at work, and soon it will be two years that I meet my ex, and in some way my process of recovery got jump started, and I slowly realized that I am an addict.

over my two weeks’ notice at work, I think it’s a good decision, as I will focus more on my school work and try harder for a new job.

Its two years that I started to know myself again, and get to realize that my infidelity was much deeply rooted than just not being able to commit to a relationship.

Addiction never crossed my mind originally, but I thought I can do it on my own originally and then I sought professional help where groups of SLAA came into place.
Even though I was resistant to join the group I finally did and for the first months of sessions.

I quickly jumped from one relationship to another and I screed that one too with my infidelity and cheating, he accepted my addiction but I couldn't do it again and I saw him being questioning of my daily life, and it was over because he knew I still liked Mass. and he tried to ruin him as a stalker.

I took time and stuck to SLAA classes and thought I was cured and called Mass. and tried to start the relationship again another time. It was ok for first few weeks and started again and I relapsed back to my old ways.

All of past year is passing through my thought and how far I have come and still not close to say fully recovered.

I keep relapsing on negative thoughts and no matter how much people around me tell me how “Beautiful “ I am I don’t feel it as I am missing affection and visible love that can’t be replaces from what I once had.