11th month soberiety

I’ve come in search of the light
A sun that burns so bright

Found myself in moon and back again
I find your embrace cold again

Finding my way home alone
How I wonder you don’t want me any more

Poem by blogger


I passed the 10th month mile stone and moving into my 11th month now. To keep myself in line with my progress, I have had slips in last month, and wasn’t perfect at all that I wanted it to be, but over all I maintained my main bottom line of not having sex.

The other slips included obsessive masturbation to porn and pictures, reading through wanted ads and the willingness to let go of my sobriety to feel alive for a moment of sex or someone else’s touch was beginning to be too much, I went to classes to keep myself in line with progress of learning and support via the SLAA and masturbated to replace and remove those cravings.

I would have to say after a while of being sober of in classes the progress kind of stops, eg: not going to classes regularly or cutting back on your therapy sessions as you think your cured and now your kind of sitting duck waiting for that shut gun to go off again in your head and slippery slide starts which can take you back to your old roots of addiction.

I have stopped my every two weeks therapy session to once a month and, I have cut down to amount of classes I attend from two a week to one a week currently, and it’s been hindering my progress in battle with my sex addictions.

I want to do more but can seem to find the time currently, and don’t want to push myself out of balance with my current schedules and create more stress that I would need to channel in wrong directions.


"God, grant me the serenity to accept
The things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Thy will, not mine, be done."