Issue and Roots

I had my meeting with my therapist earlier in the week. I recommend a therapist to anyone who doesn’t have a support group or a sponsor and sponsee relation in their AA group.

it has been a long time that I have been a patient of his and wanted to know what he thought over all about my character defect and how I was doing over all, I had never asked, different Dr's practice differently and this one just listens and when he thinks you’re doing something wrong he jumps in there and leaves me with goals to achieve in long term or short terms based on my needs.

So when I asked what he thought about my character defects, he paused and said nothing really out of the ordinary for a sex addict. you (meaning I) sought attention through wrong portals lack of family affection or acceptance drove me to higher measures or quick love and affection, and perhaps you acting out in a relationship was your way of trying to get more attention as well from your partner, and now you’re working on path of building a better education back ground and self esteem to move forward in life and move out I think should be your goal in near future as your family is just there and not supporting you emotionally.

some of all this is true, I am from a different background caught in middle of two generations, my family being tough on education and rules of family ethics, and cultural backgrounds which father and son doesn't show affection or bonding, while in North American culture the family ethics are rarely taken seriously and love and bonding is there if not from the family there will be love from close relatives and cousins which I don't have in my town either.

Not to make excuses but family and immediate family does make a difference in upbringing.

If you don't have family near you or are a small family there is always friends and healthy friendship bonds that can replicate the family and cousins.

family can be part of the issue in addiction but one should be strong and resort to other modes beside the social crutches (alcohol, cigarettes and drugs or in our case sex) as a mode of venting or self expression, because as the need increases so does the compensation and next thing you realize you can’t let go of the pattern that has emerged before you.

Keep going to classes, and quit old habits and form new ones and by doing the new habits over and over the old habits soon will go away, this is basis of recovery.