Ugly Truth

Walking in a fall day feeling cold
Darkness fading but no warmth

Dry fall leaves crackle in my feet
How I only hear your voice than feet

I find my heart convexed and sold
Searing the truth in time is old

Poem by blogger


I was thinking this week, after looking over some old emails and correspondences from the past, that I was trying to tell the truth and how I thought they are painful for him to take and I would leave out bits and part in my telling the truth.

I wasn’t being knave or lying, I honestly cared too much for him and didn’t want to hurt him by saying I was an addict and I couldn’t stop at the time. It was also the thought of losing him where I would say anything to keep him in my arms.

Its personal denial to the fact you are an addict and you need help. Fearing the loves ones near you will abandon you and leave this is a hard matter to handle specially with your love the near ones or perhaps confusing love with neediness, and fear of being alone.

Check with yourself what you’re saying and is it in correlation with your process of recovery and actions. Do you lie to just get by and you lie because you love them either way you have to come to a realization that addict’s actions get worse by lying and only telling the minimum. It feeds the monster inside you and will never let you go.

Tell the truth and be open about your sexuality, keep the ones you love close to you and your trigger points and enemies far, as they will cause relapse in your recovery and down fall to your effort in SLAA.