Today I was contacted by the EX and I told him what I feel, as past two years Halloween was spend with him and now I feel a huge void, and I wonder who he is spending it with and curiosity was taking over me, finally I had to ask what he wants from me, and in response all I got was "for me to be happy"
Sometimes he says a lot about his emotion that he thinks about me and other time he is cold as a wall, I deserve to know what he thinks as he is been reading this blog form the start without me knowing, and knows what’s in my heart and more from poems and dreams that wont stop, but all I go from him was the fact that he doesn't want to justify anything.
Even against what he says that I’ve been good to him while he was down, I feel a huge slap across my face, with every conversation, and finally I asked to be left alone and let me BE.
I felt so hurt form the conversation that I cut my weekend classes short, as I couldn't concentrate anymore, so I came home to rest and just think about the actions I took.
If you’re reading this Mass it hurt to say this, but Stay away from me and please respect my privacy, as I still feel my heart heavy from you and wants to be alone.
You love me in wrong way, even as I haven't treated you any less than gold class.
enough about my emotional roller coaster, which i had to be stern about me wanting distance and emotional stability. as much as it was hard to say it to some one who you love and you have feelings for. but i cant sit any longer wondering what if live for maybes of tomorrow.
Guide your life the way you find it healthy some times it might be the hard road traveled to seek that salvation and it might be feel ugly and it will test you even more on this path but knowing that your sobriety is more safe under that choice is much beneficial than having it threaten your sobriety and trying to keep your self in line.
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