It was just a Dream

Closed my eyes wishing to gods
Wishing that I see you in my dreams tonight

As thinking of you smiling in bed
Putting myself to sleep rocking in bed

Hallow that you appear inside
Come forward and smile out of sight

Held my hand as walked an endless shore
Can’t forget that once you called me a whore

I open my eyes n' awake
As it was just a dream

Poem by blogger


Yea as the poem these dreams are still constant and I find myself going to bed thinking about him or wondering why he is still so distant, or was that rude to ask him to stay away (in which he has). I don’t know the answers, I’m just thinking out loud here.

Life is up and down completed some of my courses this week and I have 91% on one of my courses, I am static of that achievement. then my health kicked in and I’ve started to throw up and can’t hold my food down, I went back to my family physician and they have advised me a full blood work, and he diagnosed that I probably have to go on pills to put a cap on my health issues, and keep it under control.

I’ve been miserable thinking of future and how this will be with me forever, and I read the email of the HPV lady who said I have a great courage to get out of bed and carry forward, it helped but not greatly.

I still feel upset about my health and how it’s getting to a point to be on chemical pills, I have tried everything on my power to keep it under control but that faithful day will come when I have to take on the pill and class of cold water to wash it down. Mostly what I’m scared of is the side effects of the pill and the time it takes to get my body used to the idea of absorbing the pill.


keep your emotions under control don’t act out as you find no happy moment currently as it will pass and you’ll have your moment of happiness, stop pondering about the past and perceive the future happy and colorful. I know it feels that my words fail in my actions but I am only trying to be a better person.

Keep doing what you’re doing, follow your instants and your gut, and make the judgment that is well baseman’s you. As you’re worth it.