What Did You Think?

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What did you think,
I would do at this moment,
When you're standing before me,
With tears in your eyes
Tryin to tell me that you
Found you another
And you just don't love me no more

And what did you think,
I would say at this moment,
When I'm faced with the knowledge,
That you just don't love me ?
Did you think I would curse you,
Or say things to hurt you,
Cause you just don't love me no more..

Did you think I could hate you
Or raise my hands to you
Oh come on you know me too well!
How could I hurt you
When darling I love you
And you know, I would never hurt you..

Michael Buble At This Moment Lyrics


As I blogged about feeling during the course of sobriety, some days are good and others are bad, and anything in between. this week and now I’m currently going through a rough patch, I feel hurt and powerless against controlling my feeling and ability to smile. I've been reading some of the old conversation that I’ve had with him and when I read the text, I keep falling into a dark place where I find no happiness currently and a bottom to kick back on.

I know what I did in the past was really horrible and if I could see myself in the past now I would have disowned me too.

I've been listening to album of Michael Buble, every song just characterizes this past month so well, I have tears rolling down my face specially on this track, as I don't know what to say or do, my thoughts are wrapped around his finger, and now that I know he didn't even love me, but I still can’t turn off this love and connection that once I had towards him.

I keep reminding myself that he just cared, and telling myself, he was there because he is a love addict or the fact is that probably he can’t be alone, since he is serial dating after we broke up and going from one guy to the next, and as addmitted cheated on me, and cheated on his other ex.

I keep breaking his character image in my mind, so it’s more palatable to me, and I’ll be able to forget and disconnect myself from him, but it’s hard to break a connection from your heart, even if you’re not reciprocated on those feelings and your connection, or if successful in forgetting them it will never leave your dreams.

For any one going through seismic moves with old relationships, I suggest going through the SLAA program and being familiar with signs of addiction and just hear other stories of addicts, it make you more aware of what might be warning signs and symptoms of others around you and tools to stay away as much as it is or was your drug of choice.