after my last posting I realized that it’s been only 3 weeks and not a month yet, never the less I did go to SLAA class and announced my 3 weeks abstention from sex with any one and no contact of any sort, and I plan to keep it that way for now and taking it one day at a time.
Yesterday I had my regular session with my Dr. I told him the truth that in the past I had lied about my past, in order to accept the fact I was relapsing or my competitive side, and how I fell into my addiction
Started talking about how so far it’s been easy but that I am an afraid of relapsing again.
Then I talked about my competitive side, I just want to over achieve and sometimes miss my target by not falling short just by not seeing it and passing it.
I am competitive about how my career is going and want to course correct it and my life but sometimes I feel like its too late now.
I said I have been sex free for 3 weeks and I have not emailed any one for sex or called any one, I also did mention that I read postings online and masturbated to the stories of what people want or their fantasy of what they are looking for and watch regular porn.
we talked about my current gained credential and more certifications that I am going through and exams and reports that are coming up, which are a bit stress full but are keeping me busy for now.
I was a shamed to say allot of this but I felt released from my toxic bonds of lies.
I know honestly is not easy, but its far more rewarding that the lie.
"Keep coming back"
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