Fire

Fire

i am here with matches and gasoline
i am alone and fire is after me

lonely without you as i cant breathe
cant stop thinking we were in a master peace

watching it burning blue and yellow
i have no warmth in my heart without you

as i made a deal with matches to leave
that's no deal if you are to leave

where this is headed i fear i have no break
& 'm scared that ill never see your face

this doesn't have to be
as this is tragedy



i came across an interesting article about sex and eating disorder. which indicated the pleasure center and food taste centers are in same zone inside out brain.

and in some people this centers are mixed and they over register by eating or vice-versa.

i know that not me as sometimes i don't get even hungry for food i am busy with work or sports, or even at home watching an exciting movie.

i though i would mention it if any one thought about this as source of their addiction.

valentines is coming up and i know it will be 500th day to the day that i known him and only have spend less than 100 days with him but i cant control my heart aching and the fact i wont be with him.

but for me at times these hardship fuel my motivation that much to get better and stick to my one year process of recovery, as last year i didn't do any of it in the face value, i was there in classes and meeting but not in spirit.

i was seeing people here and there, which was unhealthy but i just saw it as, casual sex that wouldn't be harmful.

its been 6 weeks in my process of sex free life
and there has been no threat to my bottom line this week
i have not contacted any one and no sex with any one