Breakfast at my Apiffany

your love is the heat that singes my lips

your love is the warmth that keeps me warm every night now

your love is the sun when darkness creaps on me

your love guides me like unto a compass at lost sea

your love is infused in my soul,

this love is like a secret in my heart



After a productive couple of sessions with my therapist it was pointed that missing a family life style was my craving, the same craving that i started to speed date and find some one to be with, and date people who were unavailable and i thought i had not meet the right person.

the sence of family i missed mostly was the fact i wont have kids or a family of my own to care for me and grow up with, and in my life it would be the men that come and go and nothing solid to hold on to.

i believed in this potion so much that i fabricated lies to have my self sat in it with my webs sewn so thick around me that i never saw what i was getting into as i was giving my self what i wanted, and what i craved, the piece that was missing from my true love life, a life that every one knows about and i can be proud of.

i thought i would have a movie ending where i find a charming guy and in 2 hours he would propose in a blue box and the rest just happy ever after.

now i realize every day that the only blue box i will get or deserve will be a box full of pills where i take a pill a day to stay alive to see the next day without the love i lost and feel the pain of my heart ache.

for this reason that i wont search for that blue box in some one else i got my self that blue box a ring that will keep me strong and wont want the dependency on some one else, and a woe to be strong for another 10 months.

i have been okay on my bottom line and trying to work things out with help of therapist, i will go to Sunday SLAA class as i really do need a group interaction

"keep coming back"