With all this pain I measure
Compass in me points to a treasure
It’s never good to measure the pain
But yet you'll never get to this treasure
Finding myself in line with this pain
Can’t complete life not having closure is this pain
I had fallen onto a path of lesion
And was all drained and in corrosion
I’m better but feeling this pressure
Matter how life sustains pain of this trash
Now I’ve started my life so fresh
Thank you for making me feel momentum of That Crash
That day I lost you in the smash
Slow mode plays in my head so fresh
What I lost that day was a true treasure
But I feel the pain I still measure
Poem by blogger
I was with an old friend this past weekend, whom I had not seen for over 3 years, we had lunch and when he asked, how’s my love life, and my response was I’m still trying to get over some one, he assured me I’m still a catch but as much as I don’t feel it inside and still hide myself from getting hurt it was nice to have an old friends support on my side for a change.
He encouraged me to come out to rest of my family and be open to myself and embrace the gay life and just be me.
I guess in some cathartic way I had a break through by talking to this friend and when we talked about my conversations about the EX and drained myself of the emotional attachments and talked openly, he said don’t wait for a promises of tomorrow as his view was it will never come, people drift apart and find others, you should do the same and don’t just sit there and wait for the promises as it sounds like it’s never coming.
I wrote this Poem Crash to just put things in perspective that I was in a crash meteorically that relationship collided, and the love I had dies there and it would be much easier to move forward officially and stop contacting and be emotionally or socially supportive of the EX, as I don’t get the same support or feel like an outcast when I contact him and feel no love and restraint from him.
It hurts for mostly to play back his voice in my head that there is no love there is only feeling of care, and maybe well be together in the future.
But I guess its some people capacity to just brush it off by not having enough clarity of what their words exactly mean or articulate feelings.
The only word of wisdom I can give is to follow what you feel and try not to mask it or grab the ends of what you like and just let go of the feelings you don’t find so appealing.
Don’t be fooled by promises of the future as it doesn’t help your Addiction or yourself steam and self power while waiting to cash that promises of future.
You will be utterly disappointed when that day never comes or the fact you might have missed something special while waiting.
