No needs

No Needs

No needs, No Deeds

I am thorn, but not born

I am stricken, but not weakened

I am sad, but not mad

I am in therapy, but not in misery

I am in a group, but it’s not a troop

I feel lonely, but not phony

I crave attention, but don’t need detention



today I cleaned up the car and I came across little remains from the Christmas tree that I bought for him, I got weak and felt alone for the moment, I saw myself slip a bit and got emotional over it and wanted to cry, I pulled myself together and marched through it.

Last night I really wanted to see him in my dreams, as they feel so real, and because I miss him so much but there was nothing that I remembered by the time I woke up, sometimes I smell him in the air but he is not really not there.

I have signed up for another series of 4 runs this year again, this would be my 3rd half marathon, 16 km, 10km and 8km run that is monitored. they keep me busy and feel like I achieve something through them, (or is it the fact that I want to run away from my own life) not sure but running feels good I feel free when I am alone and the road is long as the eye can see.

I will be going to my SLAA class tonight, I have not objectified any one and have not had sex either, I have masturbated and cruised through adds online and found some adds to get me off.